I love reading the stories of others that have chosen to wear hijab on the World Hijab website and Facebook feed. After converting to Islam as I said in past posts I was only wearing hijab to the Masjid and experimenting with it in other places. After my first year, I even started to wrap around my head with my next exposed almost in a turban style.
That second summer as a Muslim, I was traveling to Morocco by myself to stay with my in-laws. This was my second trip to Morocco but, my first as a new convert. I wore hijab because I felt it was expected of me, but I was not comfortable. Someone in the first year had given me advice and said do not wear hijab until it is your choice, or you may regret it.
I struggled with it, the material anyway, I couldn’t make it stay on my head, I really didn’t know how to wear it properly. After being in Morocco two weeks by myself my husband had arrived. It was late at night and we walked with my father in-law to a cafe. This is common it is beautiful at night walking next to the ocean. Anyway, the scarf started to fall off my head and I had become so frustrated I just pulled it off in the middle of the street. This totally startled my father in-law, not expecting I would do anything like this, I am normally very calm person.
I made it through my month in Morocco wearing the hijab, but I was convinced it wasn’t for me. I got on the plane to go back to the United States and I was sitting next to a man. As a female Muslim this is not the most comfortable situation, I really wanted to ask to switch seats but, the plane was packed. To this day I feel it was a test for me and that guy might have been Shatan (devil) trying to get to me. He said to me things like I won’t tell anyone you can take off your hijab. The struggle or test to get through the plane ride gave so much strength. If my prayers had not guided me in the right direction this definitely did. As I walked off the plane, I felt an overwhelming peace come about me and the hijab had become apart of me. It has not been easy since but, I’ve never looked back on my decision, it is my new identity.